Part of the problem with confidence is we think we have to have tons and tons of it and all the time. The reality is, that not everyone knows how to have confidence in all situations.
Self-confidence is really an attitude a person has, that allows them to have a positive view of themselves and the situations life may put them. People with a confident attitude are realistic. They trust in their own abilities and believe that they will be able to do most of what they want to do in life. They know they cant do everything.
To look at how to have confidence you need to understand that the typical person is always going to have some areas in their life that they are more confident than others.
You can be very athletic and comfortably confident in your athletic abilities while not feeling confident when meeting new people. Chances are you are confident in more ways than you may realize. The key to discovering a realistic self-confidence is to remove some of the false beliefs you may have developed.
1. False Belief:
I believe that to be successful in life I have to be competent in all the important areas of life.
I know that achievement-based thinking is not the true way to feel worthy. I get some satisfaction when I achieve things that I set out to do, but I know that failures have nothing to do with my personal worth. I was born worthy.
2. False Belief:
The past has shown me how to have confidence in myself or not. My past is my most important guidance-system.
As we grow we dont have the same vulnerabilities we did when we were young. Youve gained some awareness on what you think should continue to influence you in life. You choose which areas of the past that youll allow to steer the present, but you dont have to be a slave to the past.
3. False Belief:
Everybody knows that bad things happen more than good things. The good things I do cant be given too much importance with all the bad. People remember the bad so I should, too. Maybe if I concentrate hard enough, Ill have less bad results.
I know that if I win 4 out of 5 times, that dwelling on the one time I lose and how terrible I feel is not a positive outlook. I know I cant win all the time! Its enough for me to do well at something most of the time.
I can use how good it feels to win next time things arent falling my way, because I know its only a temporary setback.
Learning how to have confidence has a lot to do with learning how to have a more realistic attitude towards lifes ups and downs.